Variations on a Theme

Up, down, up, down, up, down...this has been the emotional trauma of the past two weeks. And it continues today, though in yet another peculiar form. As I posted earlier today, Isaac ended up at .3 liters through the night. Sometime this morning, the nurse practitioner walked by, looked at Isaac, and said, "I want him off oxygen. Let's see what he does." They proceeded to let him go without oxygen. At that point, we were obviously hoping for a miracle, but instead Isaac stuck with the pattern that has been his for about a week now (up, down, up, down, up, down, with the overall trend being ever-so-slightly down on oxygen use). About noon they hooked him back up to oxygen because he was just spending too much time between 89-92%. Apparently, they officially consulted a neonatologist to see what acceptable parameters should be for a baby like Isaac, and they said 92% or higher. The difference between 89 and 92 seems at once minuscule and mountainous.

Since noon he has been on .1 liters and has been maintaining though as I write this he's spending some time in the upper 80's. Going home tomorrow seems an impossibility, unless by some chance they would let us go home with oxygen.

We're still waiting to here from the GI department about the Ph probe results.

I know so many of you are praying for Isaac and for us, and there are no words to express our thanks. Today I'm feeling a little stronger. I hate the idea of not going home tomorrow, but as a wise philosopher I once knew used to say, "It is what it is." I read in the Psalms this morning about God being near to the brokenhearted and the crushed in spirit. I think we fall into those categories.

For now, I have to believe that this all will end someday. Not soon enough, but someday.

Here comes the gastro doctor, I think...gotta run.